What I want

I was wide awake at 3am when my mind brought me back to the time when I had outing with my friends 2 years ago. Precisely, few friends that I chose to stay connected. At that moment, they just learnt what had happened to me during my upper high school. And a question suddenly popped out from one of them,
"do you have anything in your mind that you want them to do? For example, saying sorry?"

It drags me, dwelling on the past until at this very moment. 

I was taken aback for a while cause I didn't have any idea what the hell I want that makes me still can't move on. Those three were looking at me, I could feel it when my eyes stared at the glass of root beer in front of me.

For the first time in my life, I question myself, what do you want Azizah?

Fast forward, here I am thinking about the same thing and finally got the answer.

I want a closure.
I want a freaking closure.
Everything that has happened is left hanging and it is not completely solved. They don't necessarily have to say sorry for me, but I want an end for it.

Just like how it started,
It has to be put an end.

Olivia Baker
"How can you fix something if you don't know what's broken"

Olivia Benson
"Healing begins when someone bears witness"